Still in the storm

It’s been a couple months since my last posting and this posting is coming from my heart.  We are still in our current journey, unemployed, yet surviving.  It has not been easy and we have had to make major adjustments and learn to be content in our current situation.  It is not easy.  The Hubs and I have been at different levels throughout this journey, The Hubs has been up when I’ve been down and vice versa until one day we both hit bottom.

You see, we have a mutual agreement and understanding since we started dating that we would speak whatever came to mind, a no filter approach, knowing in our hearts that whatever came out would not intentionally be said to hurt the other person.  We’ve practiced this 99% of our relationship and the 1% we get off track and start filtering what we say, problems arise.

When we hit bottom we said what was on our minds and cleared the air.  We both knew what was being said wasn’t the truth however it was how we were feeling for a long time.  Finally it was said.  Finally I could breath again.  Finally we were at our breaking point and there was no place to go.  No place except up.

Up to our Lord.  Up to our Jesus.  Up to I AM.

Even though the storm is still around us, the focus isn’t solely on the rain but on the knowledge that all storms come to an end and the sun shines again.

Throughout this journey we have received nuggets of I AM’s promises.  Nuggets of anonymous donations of money or gift cards; nuggets of decreased utility bills; nuggets of food lasting longer in the refrigerator; nuggets of gallons of gasoline going further; nuggets everywhere.

I know the truth – I AM loves me.  I AM provides for me and my family.  I AM wants the best for his brides and children.  I AM is in control and even if he doesn’t change my current situation, He still loves me.  And that’s all I need to know.  The truth.

Always Return

Hello again! When I first started journaling, I wasn’t sure if I was hearing from I AM or just talking to myself. The more I journaled, I realized I AM was talking to me and the more time I spent in His presence, I heard Him more when I wasn’t journaling. If you are unsure if you are hearing from I AM, don’t give up! Keep going back, don’t let too much time lapse between hearing from I AM.

The italicized sentences are I AM’s responses to me.

Hello Daddy, it has been a while and I’ve so missed you.

Then why have you been so distant?

Shame, fear you will be upset.

Never feel that way my child for that is the enemy talking. Not Me. I always want to hear from my children, even if it is a little hello, a silent cry or tear or a bellowing hello from the mountains. It is something from the ones I love. Yes, the ones because I love all of you. Never fear to return to Me as I will never turn you away. Remember I created you and want to be near you always. Not of human strength but of My strength be strong and endure. Things are happening behind the scenes you do not understand or need to know but please know I am still in control and I protect and care for my children no matter what. You are mine and only mine and I will care for you. A lot has happened since we last talked however you are still cared for correct?

Yes Daddy.

See and I will continue to care for you too. Please don’t forget that.

Pretty bad times are coming Daddy?

Yes and no. You stay strong in the faith and Me and all will be well

That’s all I need to know.

Then be well and talk to you again soon. Yes, go start the blog. Get my message of love out there.

Whoever has ears, let him hear. Matthew 11:15